June 1, 2020

The cycle of life is made of birth, living and death. While the first two are palatable and even celebrated, the last is more discomforting. It is the last of the triad, however, that is act three of Shiva’s wild dance. This stage of the dance calls us out of avoidance and draws us into contemplation.

The Sanskrit word for this portion of the dance is samhara. It is translated as “dissolution” or “destruction,” as well as “reabsorption” or “retraction.” All four interpretations of the word have relevance; however in the non-dual tradition reabsorption is highlighted as the significant interpretation.

In the symbolism of the Shiva Nataraja image, Act Three of the dance is represented by the fire held in Shiva’s upper left hand. Fire is necessary and beneficial, when controlled, but left unchecked, it causes destruction. Each year in North America, massive forest fires destroy wide swaths of natural habitat; the destructive element of fire easily tangible. Completely curtailing wild fires, however, doesn’t result in healthier forests. It is now understood that fire has a cleansing and rejuvenating element necessary to maintain the health of the forest system. In the same way, the fire generated by our spiritual practices is also necessary to cleanse our body - mind system of unnecessary, or unhealthy, elements.

However, our tendency is still to limit the destructive phase as perhaps we have an aversion to the inherent violence of this act. Destruction is scary. It releases the known and moves us into uncharted territory. The ultimate destruction, death, is definitely unknown and this uncertainty ignites fear.

Now, let’s return to our ocean - wave metaphor. The first two phases of the dance, creation (birth) and maintenance or stasis (life), move us out of the expanse of the ocean into an apparently separate form. We understand ourselves to be unique entities removed from the universal fabric out of which we were born. As individual waves, we see death all around us. Other waves are constantly dissolving and from our vantage point as an individual, we do not see where the dissolution takes us. We just experience the loss of the neighbouring wave. Because of our perceived separateness, fear arises when we consider returning into the vast space we no longer recognize as our place of origin. The ocean is no longer a familiar home but instead an unknown to be feared.

And yet, things are always dying. All around us, forms fade and dissolve. Within our bodies, each exhalation is a reminder of the letting go at death. Within our minds, each thought and emotion eventually fades and dissolves. As we move through our day, experiences are released as we move on to the next one. We have infinite experience with death and yet we ignore the invitation to contemplate our ultimate demise.

If we probe into the essence of who we are via our spiritual practices, we come to connect with and understand our ocean-nature. We see ourselves as part of the ocean

out of which we were formed and into which we will return. Death from this understanding takes on a different flavour. It becomes the process by which we return to the ocean. In the dying of our individual form, we automatically and perhaps even effortlessly are reabsorbed into the ocean. We return home.

Death is permanent in so far as our individual wave is reabsorbed by the ocean. Each arising wave is distinct. Each is unique with its own set of characteristics while at the same time stemming from the oneness of the ocean. Even on the calmest ocean, there are slight ripples as the tides ebb and flow. Creation is inevitable; reabsorption is natural. There is nothing to fear when we consider we are not losing ourselves but returning to what we truly are.

Perhaps fear arises as we rush reabsorption. In daily life, we have lost transitional times that acknowledge the releasing of one part of the day and the moment when the next phase arises. We also do not have a word for the releasing process where as our language uses the noun “gestation” to mean the building into form that is part of the creative phase. The process of releasing is not instantaneous, it takes more time than we are willing to acknowledge. Pain is not in the letting go; it is in the avoidance of the release.

A primary teaching in the non-dual tradition is that we die before we die. In this teaching, we recognize the intent of spiritual practice: to release all that is impermanent, the layers of identity unrelated to our ocean-nature. Here, we allow the attachment to our individual identity to die away so that our recognition of our ocean- essence can arise. We consciously sever connections to the constructed identity we have woven around a perception of separateness. We come to know ourselves as the fabric of the universe from which we were created. With this recognition, we can celebrate our unique characteristics while being grounded in our innate ocean-nature. From this place, freedom arises.